NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR OTHERS?

I think New Year’s resolutions are useful. Not for me (as I know from long experience) but for others. It’s easier to make resolutions for others than for yourself, is it not?

In that spirit I present a few for 2008:

Turn off your cell phone in public. Please. I don’t want to hear what kind of vegetables you’re having for dinner or if you’re on your way to the dry cleaners.

Improve your vocabulary. “Like” should not be deposited before and after every word in a sentence.

Ditch the insincerity. Do you really care whether some stranger in a supermarket wants you to have a nice day?

Park the road rage. Don’t we usually catch up at the next stoplight anyway? If a woman cuts you off, don’t give her the finger. Smile instead.

Smarten up. Watch less reality TV and read less celebrity drivel. Go to a museum or an art gallery and read an interesting book like Jean Chretien’s memoirs.

Curb the materialism. Do people really need a fancy, chrome-plated machine to open a wine bottle? What happened to the good old-fashioned corkscrew?

Dress up a little. Today you can’t tell the people with money from the people without because everyone dresses down.

Do you have a New Year’s resolution for somebody else?

Happy New Year to our merry band of bloggers.

5 Comments »

  1. 1
    Paul Costopoulos Says:

    Dear Neil,
    Thank you for the resolutions you made for me. There is one resolution that I strongly recommend to everybody. I Made it forty years ago and have kept it faithfully ever since: never make another New Year resolution.

  2. 2
    Alex Thomas Says:

    Hold on, Dude, I gotta nuther call coming in…
    Like, I’m like, yeah, whatever, you know, I mean, geez, ya think?
    You, too, have a good one…
    Holy crud, did you see that sucker cut me off? Yo mama, Obama!
    Man, these jeans musta shrunk in the wash.

    My name is Alex Thomas. Happy Whatever…

  3. 3
    Alex Thomas Says:

    Jean Chretien wrote a book? What language was it in?
    “Dat Dere Canada, What Can Ya Say, Eh?”
    Yes, I DO need the Ronco Swiss Army Nuclear-Powered Multi-Weapon and Cork Remover – in 18-karat gold plate, you proletariat wastrels!

    My name is Alex Thomas. Dang, that year went by fast, didn’t it?

  4. 4

    Alex:

    Chretien wrote a book while holding both fists up in the corners.
    By God, can you beat dat? Happy New Year.

  5. 5

    Ah man, that’s the perfect list. Sadly, I’m afraid it’s set up to fail.


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